Santa Claws
by Elizabeth Robbins
Summary: Logan has a secret that a young X Man is determined to uncover. A short Christmas story. Oneshot


Disclaimers: Logan and Jubilee belong to Marvel Comics and are being used without permission. I am making no money from their use.

Santa Claws: by Elizabeth Robbins

She wasn't sure why she followed him. A feeling, maybe, that he wanted her to follow. A wiggling in her gut that said he needed her. Whatever it was, here she was, driving through the snow, heading for probably Canada. The car slid briefly sideways, her hands flying around the wheel to gain control of the skid.

"I hate this shit." she mumbled to herself. She was a So Cal girl to the bone. "Damn you, Wolvie. Why don't you stop for the night?" She glared at the tail lights in the distance.

She glanced at the dashboard clock. 2:15 in the morning. The snow was coming down in fluffy flurries. It had not looked too bad when she started out after him this morning. The weather report said less than an inch of accumulation was expected. She should have known better. If she wanted the true forecast, she should have asked Storm but she didn't want the X-Men to know she was following him. They would have tried to stop her saying that she was too young, too inexperienced to do this on her own.

She glanced at the mile marker. Ten miles to Niagara Falls. She prayed he would stop there and rest. She wanted to get some sleep. She stopped at the border check point and handed the guard her passport. She was quickly cleared and allowed to continue. A quick glance told her that he was being searched. Not surprising considering he was towing a trailer full of stuff. She had no idea what he had in the trailer but her curiosity was killing her.

She found a rest stop a mile up the road and stopped. An hour later, he passed by. She waited until he was over a mile away from her and drove back onto the road. They continued to drive until they got to a row of motels beside the road. He pulled into the second building. She drove past to the last one. She asked for a room facing the road and a wake up in five hours. It was a flea bag motel but she didn't care at this point. She kicked the door closed and fell on the bed, asleep in less than a minute.

Breakfast the next morning came from the fast food place across the street. A quick circuit around the street showed that Logan's Jeep was still at the motel. She took a quick shower after eating her breakfast and settled down at the window to watch for his car. An hour later, his car passed her window. She gave him ten minutes and followed.

She had plenty of time to think during her drive. Logan left the mansion a few days before Christmas every year for the past four years. He never returned before New Years and he refused to tell anyone where he went. He never forgot to leave her something beneath the tree at the mansion or at the school but he never celebrated the holidays with her. She had tried to get him to stay this year but he just blew her off and left. She refused to tell him how much he hurt her. She just kept telling herself that there had to be a reason why he refused to spend Christmas with her. This year, she was bound and determined to find out that reason.

They drove on of another half day before Logan pulled into a shabby motel in a tiny town in the middle of the forest. She knew there was probably not another motel for fifty miles. She couldn't stay there. He would smell her and the gig would be up. He would be furious that she had followed him. She continued through town to a small area off the main road that looked to be for picnics and parked the car. She got out and walked back to town to keep an eye on him. When she got there, he was coming out of a small house across from the motel. A tall, redheaded woman followed him out of the door. They were laughing and talking like they had known each other for years. Three children ranging from about six to around ten skidded in from the backyard and started jumping all over him.

A wave of jealousy washed over her as he laughed at their antics. 'Like a regular family.' she thought with a sneer. The woman children helped him unpack the trailer and take everything into the house. Gift wrapped packages, food and a Christmas tree found their way to the house. For a man who claimed to hate Christmas, he had an awful lot of loot in that trailer.

She trudged back to her car dejectedly, missing him snap around and sniff the air. She made it back to her car through a mist of tears. She got in and curled up on the seat and cried. He didn't need her anymore. It seemed like hours before the car door opened and a low growl filled her ears.

"Jubilation, ya wanna tell me what yer doin' here?" Logan demanded.

"You don't need me anymore." she said in a small voice.

"What the hell gave ya that idea?" he rumbled.

"I saw them." she sniffed. "The woman and the kids. You have a family now. You don't need me."

"Aw, Jubes." he sighed and got in as she sat up. "Gimme the keys. Let's get ya someplace warm and we'll talk."

She handed him her keys and curled against the window, staring out at the winter landscape. He drove them back to the motel and took her to his room. He called the desk and ordered a pot of hot coffee. Jubilee took the opportunity to take a hot shower and change her clothes. When she was warm and dry, she came out of the bath and plopped herself down on the bed. Logan gave her a cup of coffee, heavy on the sugar and poured himself a cup.

"Ya didn't see what ya thought ya saw." he told her as he sat beside her.

"Is this where you come every Christmas?" she asked.

"Fer the past four years, yeah."

"Do you love them?"

"Yeah." he told her.

She placed her cup carefully on the table. "I should go." She stood and started for the door.

"It ain't what ya think."

"Then tell me what it is." she said, whirling around to face him. "What I see is a happy family that has no place for me. I see a woman and children who love you. Who can take care of you. Who've replaced me. Couldn't you have at least told me that you found someone? Don't I deserve that?"

He jumped up and grabbed her. "Stop it, Jubes."

"Why couldn't you tell me?" she demanded.

"'Cause I don't love her like that." he yelled. "'Cause I'm responsible fer what happened to 'em. 'Cause I killed her husband and left them without a breadwinner." He let go of her and sat on the bed, his head in his hands.

Jubilee stared at him, stunned. "What?" she whispered.

"Mark, her husband, was with me on a mission fer SHIELD." he said in a low voice that Jubilee had to strain to hear. "I was leading the squad into a village in Columbia that was held by a drug cartel. All we were supposed ta do was rescue a coupla people and get out but I saw somethin' that set off a berserker rage. A kid was being raped and I went nuts. When I came around again, everyone was dead and Mark was in a pool of blood near the kid with stab wounds all over him. He said the rapist got him but I knew, if I'd kept my head, he wouldn't have died. I killed him, Jubes, just a sure as if I drove my claws into him."

Jubilee looked at him. God, she hated when he got like this. It could be weeks before he came out of it. She shook her head and sat beside him. "You didn't kill him, Logan."

"Yes, I did." he insisted. "If I'd kept my mind on the mission, he'd a come back alive instead of in a box and those kids woulda had a normal Christmas, just like everyone else."

A knock sounded at the door. Jubilee sighed and got up to answer it. The tall redhead stood in the doorway.

"I heard you two yelling." she explained. "You must be Jubilee. I'm Marion." She held out her hand.

"Please to meet you." Jubilee said as she shook the offered hand.

"He told you what happened to Mark?" she said, looking around Jubilee to Logan. "I've been trying to convince him for four years that it wasn't his fault."

"Come in." Jubilee told her. "Maybe the two of us can work on him."

Marion removed her coat and sat beside Logan. Jubilee sat on his other side.

"Mark died because he's like you, Logan." Marion said. "He probably tried to stop the rape, himself, and got knifed for his trouble. I've told you this before."

"I know." he murmured. "I shoulda kept me head and stopped him."

"He would have tried to go through you. We had a family in town. A black family. One day, the youngest girl was walking down the road on her way to school. A couple of the big guys from the rugby team stopped her and started making lewd remarks and touching her in ways a boy shouldn't touch a girl that young. Mark saw it all and went after them. He got his nose broken and a black eye but he fought them all off of her. He was sixteen at the time. He never changed. If he ever saw something going on that went against his principles, he would step in and stop it. I loved him with every fiber of my being but he's gone now. I let you take care of us because I though you didn't have a family to love you but you do. Jubilee is proof of that."

She stood and looked down at them. "Christmas is for family, Logan. I have mine and you have yours. Don't neglect your family because of your loyalty to Mark. He wouldn't want that. We'll be okay."

She pulled on her coat and went to the door. She stopped and turned to them. "It's Christmas Eve. Go home and be with the people who love you." She left, closing the door with a soft click.

They were silent for a long time. Finally, Jubilee spoke.

"We do love you, Wolvie."

"I know."

"I miss you." she said in a tiny voice. "Will you come home with me?"

He gathered her into his arms and kissed her temple. "I miss ya, too, darlin'."

They stayed in each other's arms, drawing comfort from each other.

"It's late." he finally said. "Let's call home and tell 'em where we are so's they won't worry. We'll go home in the mornin'."

She nodded her head against his chest. "Hey, Wolvie?" she said. "Can we come back to see them in the summer. The weather here sucks in the winter."

She could feel the rumble of laughter in his chest. "Sure, darlin'."

Fin.


End file.
